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Legend Passed: Angelblurt July 4, 2013

Posted by Yvonne in Continuity of Source, Events, Power of Dialogue.
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About two weeks ago I was thinking, “I should stop by and see Doug” … and I didn’t make the time.

This morning, of course, it’s too late.

Yesterday’s post about ex-pressing appreciations is apt.

Nothing more to say … other than I’ll never forget the fun we had playing with each others’ names.

Doug was complaining that people were always misspelling his name, and so I started teasing him about it and turned Engelbart into Angelburp, Dangleparts and all kinds of other goofy expressions. We came up with the idea of him working with kids around innovation … we called them Angle-blurts – you just see if you can look from a new angle and then blurt out what you found!

Then he messed with my name calling me: Eve on Bridges, which was actually apropos of why he called me to work with him: an ability to listen that allows communication across boundaries. I had such a great time with him that day that I was smiling and pondering and creating as I was driving along, missed my exit and found myself heading across the Bay Bridge – had to get off on Treasure Island to turn around – made me laugh because he had called that one so well.

What a day. People really do make a difference for each other … in the most momentary ways.


Magic Miracles Missed: Appreciating Friendship July 3, 2013

Posted by Yvonne in Evolution of We, Power of Dialogue, Word in Action.
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Recently I was on the phone with my most dear friend who admitted wondering at times (mostly due to my (and her) being so busy and long times between communications) whether or not our friendship was important to me.
I was appalled and assured her that it totally was.
Later I realized that my appreciations didn’t always get delivered to her … and from her side, just looking at the evidence, it could actually seem that she wasn’t as important as everything else I was paying attention to. Bummer.
I really very often feel appreciations and gratitude for people who have been inspiring, supportive, positive, encouraging, or teaching partners in my life. And periodically my heart wells up (often in the middle of the night as I’m reflecting on life) and I start writing snippets to express what I’m feeling. Rarely do I write in email, preferring the handwritten note as more personal for that kind of communication. Most often, however, I don’t actually send them … because they are mostly unfinished, not “done” or a whole complete thot … just a wisp of something like: “damn, that was so good for me/the world/life that you did/said/be’d that way with me. i will never get over it and life is never the same since then. to me, you are a magic miracle in the world.”
So, after that conversation, I looked around and found such a note which I had started some 2 years prior (yup it was dated) and sent it to her.
Her reply:
I have had an intense week in many ways but do want to acknowledge your note.  It touched me deeply.  I can’t really find the words to say how I responded to it … it touched me deeply – that’s the best I can come up with.  For some reason it is difficult for me to acknowledge, realize, that I might be important to someone.  I don’t say this lightly, it’s hard to admit.
Thank you for sending it.”
A portion of my reply:
It’s probably not the only one of it’s kind addressed to you. There are probably others in the world, and not all from me. Ponder that!
The more life experience I have/remember, and reflect on the people I have known and who have been influential/helpful/uplifting/inspiring to me, I can imagine that all kinds of good wishes and heartfelt warm fuzzies have been launched toward all kinds of people who have no idea how much they are appreciated for the littlest, tiniest looks or smiles or even the big darn efforts they have done in their lives. Boggles the mind to know that our awareness is so dampened as to be immune to such impressions (if not expressions) of appreciation, support, gratitude and general positivenesses which are most certainly headed our way (if by my own calculations my one point of sending is any reliable measure). Astounding really.
So, task of the day: launch those warm fuzzies … even if incomplete – they might just burst someone’s (i’m not important) bubble.

What do you do with “What do you do?” January 14, 2009

Posted by Yvonne in Distinctions, Power of Dialogue.
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The standard formal greeting used to be “How do you do?” Followed by “Very well, thank you … and you?” Now, it seems to be “What do you do?” … for which my consternation at devising an appropriately terse and common response leads to this post.

Something must have happened with the turn of the New Year.

I’ve had several recent occasions to meet new people and have encountered some difficulty in responding to this inevitable and perhaps innocently posed question: “What do you do?”

So far, my odd and unsettling response is something like: “About what?” because I can’t help thinking: perhaps I didn’t hear them correctly or completely. Frankly, somehow I can’t tell whether they are asking: what do I do …

  • about my laundry? or
  • about global warming? or
  • when I’ve put too much salt in the soup? or
  • about the financial crisis? or
  • in a pinch?
  • (more…)

    Success Factors for Implementing Change February 22, 2008

    Posted by Yvonne in Dynamics of Resistance, Frameworks and Focus, Power of Dialogue.
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    A friend asked this question via LinkedIn :

    Question Details:
    How do you implement changes with 100% success?

    What are the most frequently overlooked change success factors?

    And here’s my off-the-top-of-the-head response:

    Authorship: When someone feels the change is theirs, they will make it work.

    Partnership: When people feel they are pulling for a common goal, they will make it work.

    Ongoing sensing and adjustment: When we keep in touch with a changing reality, we have a better chance of having things go the way we wish them to. “Strategy disolves when the first shot is fired.”

    Oh! re: “frequently overlooked” –
    Select to change something in the direction it is already going – anyone who wants to have the ice caps melt may win right now. Easier to find a parade and get in front of it.

    Say you want as the change what is already the case but just hasn’t been seen yet. When we call out an existing but hidden reality, then it comes into view, we say there is a “change” but not in reality, only in viewing. Sometimes that is much easier than changing reality.

    A Limited Life: A Purpose for a Living Literature October 11, 2007

    Posted by Yvonne in Evolution of We, Power of Dialogue.
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    Interesting to me that in my most recent post, I left out a key learning:

    Just a day after I’d heard about Mea’s death, and before I’d gone back east to be with the family, I was at home, just in the kitchen doing some mindless domestic chore – cooking or doing the dishes – and this mild sort of beautiful sadness of an ache came over me. There was emotion, and it was the first time I regreted not being a mom. Odd really, that the reason I should have that regret is because I’d never be able to experience having my heart broken by my child. Most people regret not having the joys of a parent, but for me – I missed the sorrow. Very odd.

    Then I realized: as I have a spiritual teacher and when he passed I had a particular human experience of what the loss of that kind of relationship is. Anyone who didn’t have that kind of relationship in life would never experience that kind of human experience.

    A human life is so limited. We can only experience what we setup and provide for ourselves. We can only get the kind of surprises and joys and sorrows that we put ourselves in the way of.

    So I do sometimes envy those who have the possibility of experiencing the surprises and joys and sorrows that I haven’t set my life up for, and may never be able to experience.

    So please everyone, would you have those experiences really, really fully? And then share with others how it is? Because if you don’t, we are going to miss them completely … and we really only have you to give us a glimpse …

    Suicide Sister: A Child Chooses To Go October 9, 2007

    Posted by Yvonne in Power of Dialogue.

    (I started this post in early August; just getting it up now.)


    One Saturday in July, I got the call that my 16 year old niece had hung herself the night before. My sister was barely able to speak. Her son helped pull the body down.

    For the next 4 days, I was the communication hub for the family. Relaying messages, helping people make travel arrangements, and buffering communcations for my sister. Then flying off to the east coast, attending the family before/during/after the funeral. With my strong spiritual orientation and my training in handling upsets and all kinds of difficult communciations, with my capability to think clearly and produce results under pressure, it was natural and actually pretty easy to go through those times being of service, a contribution, just help things keep working.

    I was glad to be there. I was glad to have a body to hug the rest of the children and my sisters.

    Then back in my life, home and at the office … the world isn’t back to normal yet. Feeling like it’s time to write … lo energy = gotta get something out.

    Knowing what I’d been experiencing, a friend sent me this:

    I read an article today in the [SF] Chronicle about a Berkeley man who just completed a documentary on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. He said to film it he had to just take a deep breath and do it. When he came back from filming in Japan, he said he collapsed in a kind of depression for 2 months where he could hardly move becuase of the strain of staying focused and not letting the content get through to him during filming.

    My current condition and my experience:

    • a floating non-specific emotion, sometimes tears, feeling very internal
    • Monday night, I had to leave my seminar, just to get outside and breathe. I realized that I wasn’t my “usual self”, I wasn’t able to generate possibility, to be there for another, to listen or be present much at all.
    • inability to really generate anything new, i can respond sometimes, but not much creation is available
    • have not unpacked
    • today I realized that it feels like I just got out of major surgery and will have to recouperate for some time to come.


    Now, another month and a half later, the emotional dip has passed, though there was more to come since beginning of August, and it impacted each family member differently in turn. I feel greatful for being alive enough to feel and participate with my family as I did.

    I am more clear that now is the only time we can really live. People will go, and we cannot recover time lost in unconsciousness, being out of communication or in activities which deaden us. And I could see from my attempt at making the post more than a month ago, I had an inkling that being in communication enlivens.

    Tossing the Sofa: Productivity for 2006 + 8 months August 11, 2006

    Posted by Yvonne in beginner blogger, Dynamics of Resistance, Power of Dialogue.
    1 comment so far

    After reading today’s Best Blog’s Unconventional Blogging Advice and Dorai’s post on subject blogging just now, I don’t feel so bad skipping out for the last two months!

    But now I have a problem:

    How to “recapture” for publication the thoughts and happenings that have enlivened my life during time which has passed?

    I have snippets I’d caught and trapped now and then along the way, but the development of those ideas can now happen only minus the authentic verve and clarity of the moment of their birth. Mostly because I’m not the same person who had those ideas back then.