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Magic Miracles Missed: Appreciating Friendship July 3, 2013

Posted by Yvonne in Evolution of We, Power of Dialogue, Word in Action.
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Recently I was on the phone with my most dear friend who admitted wondering at times (mostly due to my (and her) being so busy and long times between communications) whether or not our friendship was important to me.
I was appalled and assured her that it totally was.
Later I realized that my appreciations didn’t always get delivered to her … and from her side, just looking at the evidence, it could actually seem that she wasn’t as important as everything else I was paying attention to. Bummer.
I really very often feel appreciations and gratitude for people who have been inspiring, supportive, positive, encouraging, or teaching partners in my life. And periodically my heart wells up (often in the middle of the night as I’m reflecting on life) and I start writing snippets to express what I’m feeling. Rarely do I write in email, preferring the handwritten note as more personal for that kind of communication. Most often, however, I don’t actually send them … because they are mostly unfinished, not “done” or a whole complete thot … just a wisp of something like: “damn, that was so good for me/the world/life that you did/said/be’d that way with me. i will never get over it and life is never the same since then. to me, you are a magic miracle in the world.”
So, after that conversation, I looked around and found such a note which I had started some 2 years prior (yup it was dated) and sent it to her.
Her reply:
I have had an intense week in many ways but do want to acknowledge your note.  It touched me deeply.  I can’t really find the words to say how I responded to it … it touched me deeply – that’s the best I can come up with.  For some reason it is difficult for me to acknowledge, realize, that I might be important to someone.  I don’t say this lightly, it’s hard to admit.
Thank you for sending it.”
A portion of my reply:
It’s probably not the only one of it’s kind addressed to you. There are probably others in the world, and not all from me. Ponder that!
The more life experience I have/remember, and reflect on the people I have known and who have been influential/helpful/uplifting/inspiring to me, I can imagine that all kinds of good wishes and heartfelt warm fuzzies have been launched toward all kinds of people who have no idea how much they are appreciated for the littlest, tiniest looks or smiles or even the big darn efforts they have done in their lives. Boggles the mind to know that our awareness is so dampened as to be immune to such impressions (if not expressions) of appreciation, support, gratitude and general positivenesses which are most certainly headed our way (if by my own calculations my one point of sending is any reliable measure). Astounding really.
So, task of the day: launch those warm fuzzies … even if incomplete – they might just burst someone’s (i’m not important) bubble.

What do you say? September 17, 2009

Posted by Yvonne in Evolution of We, Poems.
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If a start
Of art
Came through the sky today
What would you say?

If a bend
Of your hand
Surprised you on the way
What would you say?

Can an other
Be there too
With you for a day?
What would you say?

Open, sesame.
Does open sesayu?
Shall we play?
What do you say?

The Poem: If Ever … February 26, 2009

Posted by Yvonne in Distinctions, Evolution of We, Poems.
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If ever there was a reason

If ever I thought to think

If ever my life went open

If ever there came a brink


If ever I wandered aimless

If ever my dream came true

If ever a spot cleared newly

If ever I was near you


There – then

what would be and what had been

would never wonder again

Where – when

Everything Else, a Poem from Peru May 9, 2008

Posted by Yvonne in Continuity of Source, Dynamics of Resistance, Evolution of We, Indirect Approach.
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A poem written by a friend of mine last year during a two week spiritual retreat in Peru … now, for you.
Everything Else
By Brian McFadin
The way to live fully is to die fully in every moment.
Letting go, inhale the goddess that she may dance you drunk with music.
Everything else is just an illusion.
Carry forgiveness in your heart. Love, pray and let go.
All people are known for their magnificence and contribution.
Everything else is just romance.
Die to the siren songs of the mind to live new and free, giving nothing impeccably.
Stillness, the perfect gift.
Everything else is just resistance.
Listening is dying to give being.
Remaining dead, stay close to life whispering love songs in her ear.
Everything else is just hope.
Use your attachments as kindling to light a fire in the heart of mankind.
Take your trident and compass and trade them in for a pure and open heart.
Everything else is just intoxication.
Give thanks to god for the mystery and beauty of your brothers and sisters.
Bless, serve and open with him into the breast of the awesome and loving mother.
Everything else is just waiting in the dark.
Life has always already completely arrived,
and you can go only so far as you can bring everyone with you in your broken heart.
Everything else is just a nightmare.
You are an elder at home in the stars,
Prepared to die honorably as a warrior-sage.
I trust you.
Everything else is just blowing in the wind.

Recipe for a Curdled Family March 27, 2008

Posted by Yvonne in Evolution of We.
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I heard back from both mom and one sister that they didn’t know where to start with the mathematical formua for a life, so I’m offering this option: You could also try it as a recipe, vis:

1 mom + 1 dad

1. Mix mom and dad liberally early, often, and with love and enthusiasm. This will begin to produce some of the brothers and sisters you will need for the step 3.

2. Continue the previous step as you can, but probably only on Sunday mornings for two hours while the first batch of kids are off to church and mom and dad have a bit of time to themselves. This will produce the rest of the brothers and sisters until you get a good amount.

Then several years later, when the youngest have grown to a not-easily breakable size and spirit:

1 empty refrigerator box
4 sisters + 3-4 brothers

3. Take all ingredients to the top of your nearest backyard hill. Open the ends of the box.

4. Place in box the largest of the brothers and sisters, then gently fit in the smaller ones around the edges. Make sure all limbs are mostly inside the ends of the box.

5. On a synchronized signal, mix the brothers and sisters well by starting the box rolling down the hill.

6. When the whole mess gets to the bottom, if there have been any sisters or brothers or body parts that have fallen out, collect them all, go back to the top of the hill and begin again.

Repeat from step 3. until laughter subsids or someone has a better idea. This could take most of a Saturday afternoon, but will produce a lovely curdled, if slightly bruised, family.

A Limited Life: A Purpose for a Living Literature October 11, 2007

Posted by Yvonne in Evolution of We, Power of Dialogue.
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Interesting to me that in my most recent post, I left out a key learning:

Just a day after I’d heard about Mea’s death, and before I’d gone back east to be with the family, I was at home, just in the kitchen doing some mindless domestic chore – cooking or doing the dishes – and this mild sort of beautiful sadness of an ache came over me. There was emotion, and it was the first time I regreted not being a mom. Odd really, that the reason I should have that regret is because I’d never be able to experience having my heart broken by my child. Most people regret not having the joys of a parent, but for me – I missed the sorrow. Very odd.

Then I realized: as I have a spiritual teacher and when he passed I had a particular human experience of what the loss of that kind of relationship is. Anyone who didn’t have that kind of relationship in life would never experience that kind of human experience.

A human life is so limited. We can only experience what we setup and provide for ourselves. We can only get the kind of surprises and joys and sorrows that we put ourselves in the way of.

So I do sometimes envy those who have the possibility of experiencing the surprises and joys and sorrows that I haven’t set my life up for, and may never be able to experience.

So please everyone, would you have those experiences really, really fully? And then share with others how it is? Because if you don’t, we are going to miss them completely … and we really only have you to give us a glimpse …

“Lost My Voice for Love”: An Inquiry Into Intentional Inauthenticity April 22, 2006

Posted by Yvonne in Distinctions, Dynamics of Resistance, Evolution of We.

This post is in further response to Rod's comment about losing one's VOICE. He's a family therapist and he's concerned about having folks, especially women, recover their VOICE. I like that, and it sounds like an interesting and useful pursuit. So I'm looking into it to see what I can discover about this dynamic of "losing one's VOICE for love".

First, let's get what he's saying about VOICE. Since he's using the all caps version of the word, I'm thinking this is really important. And although he complimented the VOICE in my blog, presumably pointing to what was written — the words and all that, here is what I think he's actually referring to:

One's VOICE is the natural expression of the essential Self.

(Let me know if I'm wrong, Rod, or if I missed the point completely, be gentle – I've got the whole rest of the post to share with you! YMB)

Such authentic expression might come out through your mouth in voice (lower case), as in speaking or singing.

Or it might come into the world through the use of other body parts, hands, feet, etc. How you move, where you go, if you dance or applaud, make art, clean grandstands, fly airplanes – that's all your VOICE too, I think. (more…)