Being Unconstrained, Things Happening, Insufficient Infrastructure April 7, 2006Posted by Yvonne in Distinctions, Dynamics of Resistance, Word in Action.
I can't believe it's been a month since I posted to the blog. Seems too much is happening all at once. I thought time was designed so that would NOT happen – at this node of the universe, seems that time is breaking down.
So this missive is really just to touch a toe down in blogsphere again. If there's something particularly that interests you, let me know and I'll follow it up when time permits.
And I've got a rif on "happen"; for a teaser, I suggest you go look it up in the dictionary.
Earlier this month, I had a couple important "ah, hah!"s:
- I'm not going to do the renovation
- I'm going to figure out what I'm going to do about living situation/home in the next 1-2 months
- and mostly:
I am no longer willing to tolerate constraints on my bringing my gift to the world. So now I'm only going for what I perceive as my highest and best use … and that is "boosting brilliant people".
What's clear is that we can't guarantee our next breath, and there's no use waiting to give my life for what is enlivening to me. This definitley enlivens me, and I'm having a ton of fun and frankly I don't care if I ever get the windows replaced – someone else (for whom that's a self-expression) can do that.
Then I went off south to the Foro Landmark Bogota and the visit to Medellin … learned much there about:
- communication without language
- the difference between real life and fake life
- being brilliant and making things happen, just like "that"
- living with "person" support
- intentional context shifting
And I had an experience of who I can be for briliiant and commited folks. It was stunning.
And I'm sorry, there's way more to share about that whole experience and what we learned there. Some teasers: stuffness, labeling and pile management; a new distinction: "debris"; witnessing (especially stealth cartwheels by a woman in a suit who'd kicked off her shoes); trusting self and others, …
Got back to Berkeley 3/21, by way of New York (including fully feng shui-ing a buddy's closet, apartment and office overnight: I saw his four boxes of papers from the 1.5 month ago move and we just sat down and got 'em handled – all the way to the end. But we were at it till 4:30am and therefore I missed the 7AM flight, but I could wait till the evening. Somehow changing the tik because it was an international flight caused undo snags. So thanks to my buddy and United FF miles, I didn't have to wait 12 hours, but hopped their 9AM, slept across the nation and unlagged in time for assisting another friend with the same "paper parsing process" – and cleared the spare room in an afternoon that following weekend.
And I won't even go into the currency changing drama where the clerk was threatening to call JFK airport secuirty because I wanted to keep my original receipt. What kind of "crime" is that? So I just chucked it because I didn't want to miss another flight or have the little clerk strung up by his boss because of a missing piece of paper, even tho he had all the transaction data in his computer – is this real? So I made a choice, and figured I'd rather chance it having to explain to the IRS why my business records are incomplete than have to face the dudes from NSA at that moment, being just back from Colombia and all.
3/28 at The Presidio Dialogues with Stewart Emery, Mark Thompson and Debbe Kennedy, and in the dialogue about Sustaining Success, I saw that:
Judgement and assessment is useful if it's aimed at perfecting something, truing it up toward a goal or ideal in the moment of accomplishing it, but it's completely not useful later.
And there's more behind this idea … but like I said, things are moving so fast recently, I haven't taken the time to prep that for publication …
I'm also nearing the end of reading Total Freedom by J. Krishnamurti.
In the last week of March, I'm dealing with snagged performance on the main machine: updated Norton, un-spyware, defrag, where are my project files really and why can I not do one thing to completion before I get frustrated with waiting, start something else, then something else waiting for that until the whole thing is blocked up, I give up, grab the laptop and head for Starbucks?
My infrastructure is now clearly insufficient to my needs – it just doesn't move quickly enough, and seems to be more and more demanding.
Meanwhile I'm reassessing my home space, reorganizing a bit, must upgrade the memory in the computer and basically dealing with all things infrastructural. Haven't had time for coffee with buddy Tom yet. That is a real missing.
I am really getting the cost (read: psychic burden) of having so many reliances and so many moving parts to manage. My productivity is really impacted by my toolset.
Then last weekend, I met with Randal Leeb-du Toit from National ICT Australia. We went to visit with Engelbart on Sunday and then again on Wednesday. It was a lovely time and many bright ideas are popping there. We just made it happen. I said, you ought to meet him while you are here. he said, cool. and we called doug up. next day we were there.
Monday I Skyped with John Wolpert, on Randal's suggestion, basically got acquainted and learned about his idea of trusted intermediaries for leveraging R&D in multinationals.
I just love it that there are brilliant people in the world. My kinda folks!
Also spent much more time with DCE this week, bought a digital recorder and broke out my camera for the occasions.
All this was amazingly easy to do – what was required (skype audio setup, digital recorder setup) was created so quickly and easily. With the need so compelling, the support just happened with no snag.
Yesterday I made it to the Spiritual Transformation Research Project Symposium at UC Berkeley with buddy Mike from Carmel. I'm not going back today because even though I could walk there (no parking trauma), the lunch (from Rick and Anne's) and goodies were superb, and the conversation almost too academic (which I appreciated because it stretched my brain – had never heard of "vagal tone" before), I will not return again because the chairs just simply wracked my back.
This is really interesting: I'm not going back because the chairs are so uncomfortable. It's only another infrastructure failure, that is, unless they want to keep out people who notice the impact of such things on thier well-being!
I'm seeing how the world (at least my world) is insufficient to allow humans (at least me) to be at their best. In the conversations with Doug about his work on Augmenting Human Intelligence, this theme is coming more and more clear to me.
Today (can't believe it's April already) I'm catching up the finances, upgrading the computer, downloading audio files of meetings w/Doug, sending pics to Randal and dealing with all things infrastructural. Cleaning up and clearing up … and gearing up for the increasingly alive and vibrant ride.